Before you embark on this wild journey, think it through thoroughly. It has only been two months for me but already a few people from my orientation back in February are beginning to feel the strains of culture shock. Why can't they understand me? Why are they doing that this way? It's crazy! Why isn't there any peanut butter? Stop saying "maybe" goddammit! etc.
You feel you don't belong. You feel like everyone's looking at you with accusation in their eyes -- even though you're just holding on to the darn pole on the bus! It doesn't matter; you might do something terrible in the next five seconds as far as you think they're concerned. You're well and truly fed up with how every answer for your questions ("can I take a breath?") is what we're told to call the Korean "maybe". "Maybe", here, means pretty much "yes but I have to ask the head teacher who will ask administration who will ask the vice principal who will ask the principal who might have to ask someone even higher up". Be prepared for amusingly frustrating "maybe"s because they will become part and parcel of your daily life. I've learned to giggle to myself inside whenever I hear the Korean "maybe".
Be prepared to come to school even if you fear you'll contaminate the kids. I had to call in sick a few weeks ago due to throwing up all night and feeling like shit the next day (this was not alcohol-related, trust me -- get prepared for high school food to probably not be the best quality ever) and, as we were warned during orientation, my co-teacher immediately asked whether I'd been to the doctor. "No," said I. "I've had enteritis before. It will pass. I just need a day off to get my strength back." Well, lo' and behold, I was dragged to the doctor, spent barely two minutes in his room, and was prescribed a plethora of pills and a syrup to take three times a day. They do not mess with sickness here. You better be truly, really, disgustingly sick to miss school.
And what about food? I mean to be honest I haven't missed home food all that much. My local GS25 (grocery store) sells chunky peanut butter which isn't really what I'm used to (I'm a creamy PB type of girl) but I'm not complaining because some people don't get peanut butter in their dong. I think I'll really miss home food come Christmas time, because that's when all the traditional food comes out and frankly I won't be able to make half of it in my apartment because I don't have a stove (for shame).
Anyway. All that to say: you will probably experience culture shock. I'm pretty sure I don't have it (yet?) but here are some symptoms you may have when/if you end up living here someday (or anywhere really):
- Sadness, loneliness, melancholy
- Aches, pains and allergies
- Changes in temperament, depression, feeling of powerlessness/vulnerability
- Trying too hard (i.e. forcing yourself) to absorb everything in the new culture/country
- Lack of confidence
- Developing stereotypes about the new culture/country
- Longing for family
- Preoccupation with health
- Insomnia, desire to sleep too much or too little
- Anger, resentment, irritability, unwillingness to interact with others
- Loss of identity
- Unable to solve simple problems
- Feelings of inadequacy or insecurity
- Developing obsessions such as over-cleanliness
- Feelings of being lost, overlooked, abused, exploited
How to fight culture shock:
- Develop a hobby (e.g. I'd never hiked before but decided to join the Ulsan Hash House Harriers with some friends; we meet every other Sunday morning which allows me to visit around on the weekends we don't hike)
- There are resources around you; use them. Talk to friends, see a shrink, etc.
- Learn to be constructive. My apartment was full of dead ladybugs and dust bunnies on the floor, my bathroom needed thorough cleaning, and my washing machine was a clothes eater. I cleaned up the apartment and found a setting (wool) to make my washing machine not be such a monster. Voila!
- Relax and meditate. Your apartment will come equipped with a TV. I assure you there is at least one channel that has English content. If yoga's your thing then bring your yoga stuff!
- Maintain contact with your ethnic group; this will help you keep in touch with your identity and help you cope with your reality. My orientation group set up a facebook group (with a crafty name haha) to help us communicate, rant, set up events, parties, etc. Basically we maintain contact with the people who experience the same stuff that we do. This is super important, okay.
- Recognise the sorrow of leaving your old country. Accept the reality of this new country. Focus on your transition to the new.
- Don't forget the good things you have! You have a family, you have friends, you (may) have pets... Sure they're far away now, but in the digital age don't give me crap about not being able to talk.
- Be patient. Adapting to your new life will take some time (and effort from your part).
- Don't try too hard. If you don't like kimchi, you don't like kimchi. I know I don't like spicy kimchi so I ain't forcing that stuff down my throat, you know? What, are you gonna throw yourself off the bridge too just because the Koreans do it? Pfft. You lemming.
- Learn to include a regular form of activity in your schedule. Some people take up taekwondo, others take dancing lessons. I hike every other weekend and the other weekends I usually have an adventure with friends so we end up walking anyway. The rest of the week I'm on my feet all day so...
- Maintain contact with the new culture; you'll feel less stress about being in a completely different world. Learn Korean. (errr, I wanted to but I work when there are classes... That said, out of my group I'm probably the one who knows the most Korean so ha)
- Allow yourself to feel sad about the things you've left behind: family, friends, pets, etc.
- Pay attention to relationships back home and at work here. They will be your support group. Really. My grandfather passed away a few weeks after I left and to my surprise my co-workers were super supportive.
- Find ways to live with the things that don't satisfy you 100%. So pizza here really isn't like back home or, God forbid, Italy itself. Really, really not. So... learn to appreciate corn in pizza before you fly over, because it's just fine really.
- Maintain confidence in yourself. Follow your ambitions and see that your future plans can come to fruition. This is a no-brainer for me. I was always pretty ambitious but lacked a lot of confidence in myself. I felt like this experience could help boost my confidence in myself, and it has done that. So I'm pretty chuffed.
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